I love black thongs
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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