If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
