she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
