We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
