Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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