maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
