So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
