Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
