Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
