Fuck appropriateness.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
