i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
