Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
