I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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