need another drink. this is the easiest way
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
