never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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