So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
