I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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