just tell him i said nine months
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
