You work out of a Hotel?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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