Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
