I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want her autograph on my taint
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize