I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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