Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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