I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
