I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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