Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
