Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
