I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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