i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
