What did we do last night that was yellow?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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