Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
