His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
