dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
