Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
