I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
