A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
