Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize