Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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