Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
