I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have aggressive nipples.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
