omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I currently don't understand fingers.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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