She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
