I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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