so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize