i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
