I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
