Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
