So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
