tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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