no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
