i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
