HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
