If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
