I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
