Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
