yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize