i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
