Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
