does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
