All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She bit a glass in half.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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