totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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