the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
