Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize