come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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