I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
