but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
