I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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