A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
